You see, BOTH of my children are disabled, and so am I. Finding a daycare that would actually take them so I could get a job, would end up costing me more money than I would ever make at the job, essentially costing the government more money.
So, the next answer is that the fathers (yes they each have a different father...not unheard of these days) of these children are responsible for these children and should support them. I agree fully! If anyone out there can find a way to get the courts to enforce the orders they have created, and make the fathers do what they are supposed to do, well, you should be canonized!
But, there are so many perks to being a single SAHM. I get to enjoy all the firsts, and not pay someone else to raise my children. I get to get all the love, and take charge of my daughter's education. I get to watch them grow and learn new things daily. The good morning kissed, and the good night snuggles, and so many more loving tender moments that are just mine. I also don't have to fight with anyone about how I discipline, what routine I set up, how I dress them etc. But with all the negatives, the positives are far more.
I would never change what I have now, for a high paying job in some corporation, where I would be working long hours every day, week in and week out, while I pay someone else to see the firsts, get the cuddles and snuggles, and see the daily learning!
It isn't an easy job. The pay and benefits are horrible. But we have learned something very important, that will last my children a life time...that money does not buy happiness, and possessions do not give you love. Being a single SAHM is not something I fully, intentionally chose. I always did want to be a SAHM, I just never wanted to do it alone. However, in doing is alone, I have found out that I am a lot stronger than I thought I ever was, especially with the birth of my son. At two months old we found that he was delayed, and had no idea how long, how bad, or why. We have some answers now, but may never have all the answers. And I have done it all by myself!
Of course, in the great state of WA, the court feels that fathers should always pay a part in the child's life, regardless of the benefit/risk scale, and this is what I am going through now. The father who was totally absent for over a year suddenly shows up and goes from weekend custody, to wanting full custody! I think I have a cracked skull from beating my head against the metaphorical wall over this one. My saving grace is that there will be a different judge for the hearing, who hopefully will take the time to look at ALL the evidence, be impartial, and truly make decisions that are best for my son-realising that NOT ALL CHILDREN ARE CREATED EQUAL, and what is good for one child, is not great for another.
I have my faith to lean on, and God has a 100% track record of keeping me and my family safe, so I know he will now. The waiting is always the hard part! But that is just part of being the mom...watching, waiting, and making sure your babies are taken care of.
